“Why are you in a hurry? You are always too worried. You are such an over thinker. It doesn’t deserve that much thinking, just do it, it is not that hard. You are too emotional. You got to give up trying to be perfect all the time. You talk about it too much. Let it go. You shouldn’t care that much! Why are you always nervous? You are overreacting! Anxiety will eat you alive.”
Most probably you have heard one of these phrases if you consider yourself to be an anxious person or an over thinker. If yes, join the tribe.
With a fast-paced pounding heart. A shaky hand. A restless soul. Turbulent thoughts. A torrid state of mind. Questions that pile up with no answers. Sleepless nights. That’s how it feels to anyone who suffer from anxiety and overthinking.
From rethinking every single thing that happened in the past and how it could have been instead, all the way to contemplating how it will be in the future in different scenarios. Being worried all the time, thinking if you are on the right track doing the right thing, doubting every decision that you make is one of the hardest things that a person can be dealing with.
What people don’t understand is that when you are in the situation, you can’t control it. It might seem trivial for others from the outside. However, it feels like you are drowning. You can’t breathe. You can’t control the pace of your heart rate.
Anxiety is a monster. It chases you nonstop during the day while you are laughing with your friends or typing on your work laptop. It never leaves your side even in the most unexpected times, even when you think you are protected by the loudness and cheerfulness around you, it still hits you hard in the face. It is your guardian angel while you are sleeping hindering peace from reaching your soul. It follows you in darkness and light. And it’s annoying. It is never what other people think it is. It’s hard. It’s not easy to manage. Yet, it is doable.
For me, I have written down some rules to help fight my anxiety when it hits and I promised myself to hit it back hard in the face.
1- Yourself Above All!
People will not always be kind. They will not always be empathetic. Sometimes, they will not feel you nor understand your feelings or state. Only you know you. Only you know what is happening behind the closed doors of your heart and soul. When anxiety hits, do what you feel like doing. Breathe. Leave the place. Don’t answer your phone. Cry in the bathroom. Just do what will soothe your soul. Don’t give a damn about anything but your mental state.
2- Breathe Deeply
This is not trivial. Don’t ignore it. Breathe cold air deeply. Fill in you lungs. Keep a perfume that you love or that calms you in your purse and smell it whenever is possible.
3- An Ice Pack
Put an ice pack or anything frozen on your wrist or neck. Or dip your whole face in very cold water. Trust me it makes a difference.
“You cannot always control what goes on outside, but you can always control what goes on inside.”
It’s always so good to socialize, however, you need to know when is the perfect time to draw your lines loud and clear. Emotional boundaries, work boundaries, family boundaries and even self boundaries are crucial. Sometimes, the people we love and cherish the most causes us the highest levels of anxiety without us noticing!
“Not everything that weighs you down is yours to carry.”
5- Write it down
When thoughts are stormy inside you and your head is about to explode, take a second to breathe and just acknowledge what are your feeling now at the moment. Write it down in a journal or on your phone, contemplate on it for a while. Ask your self for the real reason and write everything down. Close the notebook or the mobile and go on to do something different. Just try to let it go for now. You can go back to it some other time during the day or before you sleep. I bet when you reread it in another time, you would feel different.
Anxiety is tough but so you are. You can do it. You can pass this storm. Love yourself enough to know that you are a warrior and that you will get through this also.
“This too shall pass”.